I'm Trying

Just saw a picture of Ace and Andrea on Ace's Facebook... It wasn't where I could see anything. it was on her Facebook Profile picture.... she has removed me, Gary and Candice from her Facebook....Brant had already deleted her... he got her number pretty quick. alot quicker than any of the rest of us. Called Ace, trying to keep some form of communication open between he and I. The emotions run in so many directions when I think of them... First.... hurt, second... anger, third.... confusion....I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't... Andrea is a very strange person... But I guess being neglected by her mother and being left with a drunken father because her mom was too busy being the mistress to the doctor would take a toll on any child. I just have to keep on going and look to other things to keep my mind busy and not dwell on what could happen... Today... I was thinking about the upcoming wedding and trying to figure out how I was going to attend the showers without Andrea jumping all over me for something... then I had a realization that she may not even invite me to any showers. And Ace would probably be ok with that... They'll have Sara, mom and virginia go in my place....then I think surely not...Who knows.....As I told Andrea... if she pushs Ace to cut me (his immediate family) out of his life, no one wins.... I don't think she understands because she's never had an unconditional family from what I can tell.... Her Mother didn't even spend Christmases with her..... again with the Doctor....I think I actually need to feel very sorry for her... she's got alot of problems....But then I decide No.... I'm not feeling sorry for her.... I just flat don't like her but will always be polite for Ace's sake... that's what Mom's do... At least mom's that truly love their kids......

Here we go again.....

Just points that I need to remember when I think about all the horrible things that were said to me by A about me and my family.....

Per BH.... Gary talks to much (this is after we thought we all had a nice dinner and we even paid for all)

CHR --- at M BD.... bragging about regifting a necklace that she got from a patient... and then about getting such a good deal at NM on a dress.

BH ... telling A he's trash and M that she's chubby

AH..... that's this is how it's going to be if I want A to continue to be in my life...

Believe me the list will go on as I think of things..... hoping that writing them down will get them out of my head......